I’ve been planning to write this letter to you for a long time now because I know this will make you feel better but I am sorry for keeping you wait. I thought things will be better that I didn’t have to write this letter but as days goes by, you feel worse. Thank you for fighting. Thank you for surviving.
I know its been hard. All of your life you feel misunderstood. You feel you are never loved or don’t deserve to be loved. You feel like you’re just a burden to the people around you. You feel like people only like you because of the things you have but not because of who you actually are. You feel you are the worst daughter or sister to your siblings or friend to your friends. You feel you are not good enough. You feel like giving up and you feel like ending the pain. But I want to tell you this, I am proud of you. You’ve come this far.
I know all you can do know is to escape and hide. You escape reality. You escape from people not because you hate them but because you think they hate you. You pretend to be okay but in reality you are not. You always sleep because you can forget the emotional pain. You travel because it makes you feel that you are far from pain. But these are temporary. Self, I wish someday you’ll learn to face your own demons. I hope one day you’ll wake up, face the day smiling and tell me that “I made it, I am truly happy”. I also hope you’ll find a way to tell the people you love your situation. I know it is scary. It could possibly make things worse but my dear self, I hope you’ll find courage. Not all people will understand but I know people who truly loves you will. I hope for better days for you.
My dear self, you are better than what you think you are. You are a loving person. Other people may not seem to see it but I truly believe that you care for the people around you on the best way you could. You are not a burden if only you’ll believe yourself. You can make things better. YOU ARE ACTUALLY THE CHANGE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR. You are not a failure. You are just on a work-in-process. You are on your way to being happy.
Let us not think of ending things but always think of how you would feel better. Masarap mabuhay. Temporary happiness is good way to escape but trust me, you’ll be fine. You deserve to be happy, to be truly happy.